Pondering the Impossible

     I haven't written in a while because frankly I don't know where to begin. My most urgent thoughts aren't about my current jobs here or how I can better serve the children. For the last month, I have been pondering how I can adopt a child from Guatemala.
    When I came down here on my second trip to the orphanage a little boy made his way into my heart. As I held this screaming child that was always restless and never satisfied, I realized that he was trying to attach to me. You are allowed to think I'm weird, but I don't doubt what I felt that day. This is the type of bonding that happens between a mother and child in the early months of the child's life. To be honest, this child was a huge reason of why I moved to Guatemala.
    After a year of preparing to come to Guatemala and being in the country for 8 months the issue of adopting this child has come up in my mind full force. The same week the children from UAE (story is below) left my care I discovered a loop hole in the adoption process.
    Let me back up just a step to explain why I need a loop hole. First of all only Guatemalan's can adopt Guatemalan's. The other issue important to know is you canNOT adopt children that you work with in orphan care. Don't ask me the logic, but it is the law.
     The loop whole I discovered was that if I become a permanent resident of Guatemala I can then adopt. I am a month and a half into researching how to do this but right now it seems it will be a lot of paperwork, time, headache, and money. After I become a permanent resident, I can start the adoption process which will be more paperwork, a home-study, more time, money, and more unforeseen events that will cause me to rely on the Lord. Lastly I will have to have my child legally adopted into the States which is more of the same stuff listed above. I said it was a loop hole not a short cut.
    Since I have moved to CB, my prayer has been for this child to be adopted into a family. Of course, I want this little boy in my family, but I felt this was the way I should pray. Logically I know the odds of adopting this child are against me. Regardless, I plan to take this process step by step to follow what I feel is God's will. I am continuously praying for God to guide me and stop me when I step incorrectly. I believe God is faithful. This weekend I have been praying this verse over this situation "I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." ~Revelations 3:8